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Genetically Modified Foods, and a curious, unrelated photo
Genetically modified food (GMs) are what happens when scientists manipulate cells or even nuclei by inserting genes or viruses to change the DNA. Before GMs farmers would hybridize plants by breeding for preferred character traits. GMs may or may not cause damage to human DNA, but it’s use has escalated the use of pesticides, herbicides and animal cruelty. Since Monsanto, the makers of the herbicide Roundup(tm) are also the leaders in GM food, it seems that they are lining their own pockets by selling products for both cause and effect. If eating GM food is something you’d rather not do, I have just come across a useful article that might help. In the April/May, 2011 Vegetarian Times, there is an article by Neal D. Barnard, MD on the subject. In the article he reveals that manufacturers in the U.S and Canada aren’t required to label GM food. However he says that most US-grown corn, soy, cotton, Hawaiian papaya and canola is GM, but most other fresh fruit or vegetables aren’t, such as apples, oranges, bananas, broccoli. (These, however, are often heavily sprayed with pesticides and need to be washed before eating. The Environmental Working Group http://www.ewg.org/ updates a Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen list of produce that is effected most or least by pesticides; you can see that list here: http://www.healthyreader.com/2008/05/13/12-most-contaminated-fruits-and-vegetables/ .)
Dr. Barnard goes on to give these interesting tidbits: The labels on fresh produce carry a four-digit standardized code for cashiers to look up the price of the item, called a PLU (price look-up). If the code is preceded by an 8, it is genetically modified. If preceded by a 9, it is organic, and organics cannot be genetically modified. So watch your tofu packages if you don’t want GM soybeans.
Since becoming a vegetarian some sixteen years ago, I’ve been a label reader (even now when it requires pulling out my glasses or holding a can at arm’s length!). The amount of sodium in foods is outrageous, as is the amount of sweetners such as corn syrup. High amounts of salt and sugar is in there not for taste, but for its addictive qualities. When you eat salt or sugar, just like drinking caffeine, you crave more. As a vegetarian, it’s amazing what meat products are slid into foods, even those toted to be vegetarian. Now there is a more dangerous enemy than bad nutrition in packaged food. In my opinion, it is that of GM food and heavy herbicide and pesticide use. Even more reason to shop locally and organically, or to grow as much food as you can, and read all the labels. I am an ethical vegetarian, meaning that I decline to eat animals because I am protesting their horrible treatment and slaughter. GM animals are bred to continuously give milk, to grow enormous, to provide more of what humans eat off of them, despite the physical agony it brings. That coupled with already nightmarish living conditions is a monsterous state of affairs. Then humans injest the modified DNA, the herbicides that the animals eat that was sprayed on their food, and the pesticides that was sprayed directly on the animals. It is not a practice of which I will be a part.
Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now. As promised, I have a curious, unrelated photo. I have to balance reality with humor to keep sane This was taken by my daughter as we left the area on our recent Oregon sojourn, and we ask ourselves, “Huh?” A really big blowhorn faced the wrong way? A jet engine, faced the wrong way? A hood ornament…. faced the wrong way? Something unusual that fell out from under the car? A neutron accelerator? I love the care of placing a skid under the thing to protect the hood, but cinching the straps so tightly it dents the sides! Another funny incongruency in life, which keeps that humor in living. Any suggestions as to what? Or better yet, why?
Hood Ornament Horn? -
Chicken Tractors
To most people a chicken tractor sounds like some lame joke. Until fairly recently, I did too. However there are whole websites devoted to them. And as of this week, thanks to local carpenter Jay Tull, I am the proud owner of one!Chicken Tractor One of the fundamental ideas of permaculture is a holistic approach to land management and food supply. Keeping animals that produce food in a compassionate, healthy and useful manner is part of the puzzle. I am a lacto-ovo vegetarian and want dairy products that are produced using humane methods. Therefore, a chicken tractor! A chicken tractor is a movable coop with an unlined bottom. The chickens root around eating bugs, digging up weeds and pooing within the safety of their lovely tractor. You throw in some straw and they mix it into the soil and poo on that, too. In a few days or a week, that square of soil has been dug up, mulched and fertilized and it’s time to move on! So you move your tractor, chickens and all, to wherever you would like them to work next. Meanwhile you collect enriched eggs that have been laid by unstressed chickens who supplement their mash with bugs and greens out in the fresh air.
Back view If you have ever eaten eggs from backyard chickens, it may take a little getting used to. That is because the flavor is so interesting and fresh. Going back to supermarket eggs is like switching from chocolate to carob: as a satisfying substitute it just doesn’t fit the bill.
Chicken tractors come in all shapes and sizes. Check out these images: http://home.centurytel.net/thecitychicken/tractors.html. I must admit that my chicken tractor turned out heavier than I’d like, but it’s beautifully made and I’m very happy with it. We’ve joked about entering it in the Christmas parade. If you’re interested in chicken tractors (or chicken arks as they are also called), read Chicken Tractor: The Permaculture Guide to Happy Hens and Healthy Soil by Andy W. Lee. The San Diego County Library system has copies. (Did you know that you can order books from any County library online and it will be shipped to your local library? Visit https://dbpcosdcsgt.co.san-diego.ca.us/search).
This tractor is large enough for maybe four or five chickens at most, which would provide more than enough eggs for me. There are hundreds of web pages that focus just on chickens, and a handy chart that lists egg-laying characteristics can be found here http://www.mypetchicken.com/chicken-breeds/breed-list.aspx, as well as other places. Many birds lay brown eggs or bluish eggs; they don’t have any difference in any respect than white eggs other than shell color, so to pay more for brown eggs at the supermarket is criminal.
Oh, and of course, if there is a chicken tractor, there must be chicks:
Two week old chicks These three ladies are two weeks old, and are from left to right a Silver Wyandotte, a Buff Orpington, and a Rhode Island Red. I want an Ameraucana (which is a hybrid of Aurucana, which lays the greenish and bluish eggs), and a Barred Rock, which is the traditional black and white chicken, but there were none to be had today as they are very popular. When some become available I’ll raise them seperately until they are mature and introduce them to these three so there is no bullying. Chickens lay eggs without a rooster, and do quite well without being harrassed and pecked at, too. My neighbors wouldn’t forgive a rooster, either. Right now my little chicks are too young for the Tractor, so they live in a Rubbermaid 50-gallon storage container with a 60-watt lamp on one side, water and mash in separate containers, newspapers and shredded bark underneath, and wire across the top because they are Chickens make wonderful pets and have a welcome spot in any permaculture system. Besides, they’re very cute.
Sleepy chick (Photo credit: Miranda Kennedy)
- Birding, Gardening adventures, Heirloom Plants, Permaculture and Edible Forest Gardening Adventures, Photos
Brief Garden Updates
Palm Throne I spent the day making two birthday cakes for my two children, both of whom will be flying in from different directions tomorrow. Recipes will be the next thing I post! So for now, just a few garden updates. As you can see in the photo above, I have yet another palm throne, this one at the entrance to the garden. These are so fun. As the palms decompose, I can always plant in the seat!
Six loads of rock A total of six truckloads of rock have been delivered, and are piled in various areas on the property. At about 12 tons a load, that’s over 700 tons of rock! These will be used to surround the ponds, line the dry streambeds, and as interesting features in the natural garden.
- Garbage Can Enclosure
Jay finished the enclosure for the garbage cans, and it is pretty ritzy. Those incredible hinges are hand-made and you can see the imprint from the blacksmith’s tools on them. Jay had several sets and I had to have them. I go nuts over skilled craftsmanship, such as woodworking and metalwork. Right now there is only a latch on the outside, so it would pay not to close the door while inside. It would be a little climb and a long reach to get out again.
- Frond Fence
Along the radically improved and stabalized area above the embankment, some of the chain link and posts used to hold the soil were showing. So today lots of pond fronds (hey, we have a lot of them!) were being attached to the exposed fencing as camafloge. It looks great in that area. Also, little birds like house wrens love nipping between old palm fronds, and they’ll provide some hiding areas for the Western fence lizards, too. The stairs were made from railroad ties, and the area around them planted and then mulched with palm chips.
In the bulb beds, one of my favorite daffodils has opened today, and unfortunately I was snapping photos in the evening and the close-ups were blurry.At the bottom of the bulb photo are Hoop Petticoats, and at the top, Little Witches, which I wrote about the other day. The little center unruffled hoops are so unique; besides Rip Van Winkle (which haven’t bloomed yet) these are my favorite.Also, Double Delight rose has bloomed. It is a double delight because its coloration is gorgeous and ranges from almost pure reddish pink to almost all white with some red on large, softly ruffled blooms. It also is extremely fragrant; my daughter said that it smelled the way rose water tastes, and that is perfectly true.Meringue Mushrooms coming up soon! -
Permaculture Update
A Pile of Rocks As promised, I have more photos for you. Roger and his team have worked with all stops out for this last month and a half. Lots of heavy labor, skilled work and planning has been done. One of the big decisions that needs to be made next is about water. Besides digging a couple of unlined rain catchment ponds, which will perculate run-off into the soil and be dry most of the year, should there be a lined pond that would stay wet all year for birds and other wildlife. This pond would be cleaned by filtering the water through a bog area. Also, should I invest in a huge above-ground water tank to collect the thousands of gallons of water that pours off my house roof during rainstorms? So we are interviewing pond builders, and having pow-wows with other professionals who know about water.In the meanwhile, many trees and small plants have been planted, about half the pile of urea spread and tilled in.
Tilled and mulched I am not an advocate of tilling in healthy soil. It tears apart the microbes and underground inhabitants that are what changes dirt into soil. About twelve years ago when I first moved here, I succumbed to those enticing Troy-Bilt tiller ads and purchased a 6 HP tiller; an enormous investment at the time, but with all this weedy property I thought it would help me ‘fix’ the soil. The tiller came dismantled. After a lot of trouble putting it together and getting it running, the machine I bought turned out not to be a tiller, but a device that endeavors to separate your arms from your torso and dislocate each vertibrae in your spine, all without actually tilling anything. The Troy-Bilt ad photos that show a neatly dressing young woman casually standing by her tiller pushing it with one hand, leads one to believe that the tillers are easy to run. Actually, the lady in the photo is having a good time only because the tiller isn’t turned on! She’s leaning on it! Someone made all those groves in the dirt with a hoe, because that tiller sure didn’t! You may surmise from that rant that I didn’t have much luck tilling, so the machine sat in my shed until recently. It was just repaired and yesterday, having been starved for so long, it tried to eat Roger as he used it around my property. Roger is a big, strong man, so I don’t feel so badly about having been so unsuccessful with using the tiller that I wanted to chain it in a dark celler where it wouldn’t hurt anyone again. Despite the evil tendancies of this machine, much urea has been tilled in around the planted trees, which is the first layer in the plant guilds that form the edible forest garden. Under the trees, other components of the guilds are being planted. Those components perform what roles plants in a natural forest hold: mulchers, groundcovers, shade, insect-attractors, nitrogen-fixers, and nutrient-miners. The guilds will grow larger as the project unfolds.
Jose and Roger with the first load of rocks Rocks are a wonderful focal point in any garden, and we needed a lot of them. With predicted rain this weekend, and the probability that the 10-wheeler wouldn’t be able to access the yard with the soil any softer, sped up the delivery date to… ASAP. Two deliveries of boulders were deposited today, and starting at 7 am tomorrow, several more loads will be dropped. I can just see all the lizards on the property rubbing their little hands together in anticipation of a great king-of-the-hill push-up contest. Two sections of my wooden fence had to be disassembled so the truck could pull directly into the yard. Later, the boulders will be placed with a small Bobcat. This is a nice mixture of rock, and this first load pictured shows the largest of the boulders. This is about 12 tons of rock. I can’t wait for time alone to go climbing! 🙂
I asked Roger if he knew a really good carpenter to help build some items for me, and he did. Local carpenter Jay Tull was brought into the job and is also a craftsman of skill, inspiration, problem-solving, and a lot of fun ideas. He made two top-bar bee hives first of all (I’ll go into bee hives in another post, as well as my blue bee garden), using almost all leftover materials on the property. They are beautiful. Next, I wanted to build a little fenced area to block off my trash and recycling cans so my long-suffering neighbors didn’t have to look at them anymore.
Garbage Can Closet or Guest House? So with lumber and more of that broken concrete (which actually came from his property!), he and Roger’s team are working on an incredible enclosure that probably should be a guest house! The walls, made of leftover fencing, and a gate will be added probably tomorrow after the cement all dries. Jay suggested that the cement chunks be cemented in rather than surrounded with gravel for easy hosing down. There is room for a planter on the side! Another project Jay is working on concurrently is a chicken tractor.
- Chicken Tractor in the Making
There are many websites devoted to just images of chicken tractors. These are portable chicken coops that rest on the ground. The idea is that the chickens root around in the ground weeding, pooing, eating bugs, etc., which is all extremely healthy for the birds and great for the soil. Then in a few days you move the tractor a little ways and set it down and they start on a new batch. I found a photo of one I liked, and Jay is building it almost entirely out of used wood from my old sheds, and wheels off my old gate. It works like an extremely heavy wheelbarrow; apparently the image I gave Jay to work from used two people to move it, but he’s adapted it for one person. I’ll show you the finished version in a couple of days. We’ve already joked about entering it in the Fallbrook Christmas Parade.
Other things that have been going on are the building of benches and seats for viewing areas around the property, using the materials that are here.
Jose and Francisco, Roger’s team, have stripped some of the palm trunks and cut them into chairs. This shows one set up on the newly repaired erosion area just above the barranca. Along the fence are planted more stonefruit, and on the other side of the fence are planted berry vines. The seat overlooks the mature toyons, sumac and willows that grow down the embankment, and a great place for bird watching. A garden isn’t a garden if there aren’t resting places for you to just sit and listen.
Stumps along the Liquidamber Allee
Today Roger saw an adult kingsnake under the native plants on the embankment, and it startled and slithered away. I think this may be our annual visitor to our upper pond and birdbath. Every summer he shows up once or twice looking for mice and getting a good long drink from our pond, then disappears. I’m hoping he has his eye on our gopher population.
California Slendar Salamander So the loud machinery, sounds of screeching rocks sliding on metal, and the whiff of urea continues on my usually quiet and unobtrusive property. Some day in the near future it will again be quiet, and all the animals I’ve scared off will return. Actually, many birds have been enjoying the piles of brush, and Roger has encorporated some brushy piles into the design just to allow the birds and bunnies and lizards small havens.
These piles are small, and are located well away from the house so as not to cause a fire hazard. Also I was sorting through the stack of old plywood on the weekend and uncovered two California Slendar Salamanders. One was larger than the other, so I think that was the female. I removed them to my upper pond area so that they wouldn’t get squished. These wonderful discoveries of life on my property make me all the more determined to complete this project in as a compassionate and organic way as possible.
My two elderly dogs, Sophie and General Mischief, have been having such a hard time of it. They lived their lives here outside, sleeping on an old futon in a small garage-type building. Now that they are both deaf, and Sophie likes to sneak out to go visit my long-suffering and wonderful neighbors, I’m afraid of them being injured with the gate opening and closing and large trucks pulling through. So, for the first time in their lives, they’ve had to adjust to living in my library on a sheet-protected couch. You can see how hard it is for them:
Suffering Couch Potatoes -
Heirloom Plants
- Fragrant Antique Freesias and Cyclamen
Little Witch Daffodil I am so fortunate to live here in Northern San Diego County, where Spring has come and gardening weather is wonderful. I may be a cold-weather wimp, but that’s okay. A morning filled with the scent of freesias and the repetoire of a mockingbird in love fills and feeds my inner self. I wish that I could waft that incredible fragrance to you from the photo! I was born in New Jersey, the youngest of five, and we came West when I was five years old. My mother never wanted to even look at snow again in her life, and my dear dad made that possible. I published a fiction story some years ago in the premier children’s magazine, Cricket ( http://www.cricketmag.com/CKT-CRICKET-Magazine-for-Kids-ages-9-14), called Taking Tea with Aunt Kate. In it I wrote about a lush, mixed-up garden. The illustrator for the story lived in some cold state, and emailed the editor with alarm that I had daffodils blooming at the same time as squash was in the garden. It took me a little to convince her that our narcissus bloom in early Fall when squash is still being harvested, and daffodils are still blooming when we can transplant squash starts out in the Spring.
Early Louisiana Jonquil - Van Sion (1620)
Despite the fires, drought, and cost of living, we live in an Eden most of the time, in my opinion. But I’m well off the track of what inspired me writing this morning.
I revere heirloom plants. I became involved with heirloom varieties when I was a Senior Park Ranger for the County of San Diego, and was in charge of the newly restored Rancho Guajome Adobe in Vista. http://www.co.san-diego.ca.us/parks/ranchoguajomeadobe.html . If you haven’t visited, you really need to. Its right next to the Antique Gas and Steam Engine Museum http://www.agsem.com/ and open for tours on weekends and for special events. The most common comment has always been, “I’ve lived in Vista for years and driven past this place almost daily and never knew it was here!”
Tommies crocus (1847) Anyway, for the Adobe’s grand opening after it’s restoration, I was asked to create a Victorian wedding area using period-appropriate plants. In about 8 weeks. And, in one of the fastest group efforts ever, I did. Since different areas of the Adobe were built and interpreted for different times, I researched and planted gardens in the inner courtyard and in the front which reflected the plants available in San Diego at those times. The gardens have changed plant materials over the years, but have been lovingly kept by docents and staff. Two wonderful resources (among many) which I still shop from and refer to today, are Old House Gardens Heirloom Bulbs https://www.oldhousegardens.com/index.asp , and Heirloom Roses http://www.heirloomroses.com/index.htm. These are two mail-order plant suppliers who research and care for their stock, listing introduction dates and histories. Old House Gardens is particularly warm and fuzzy to deal with; they add personal notes onto the orders, want feedback about how the bulbs do in your area, and make sure that you know ifCherokee Rose A cutting from the Cherokee Rose planted at Rancho Guajome Adobe circa 1880. So in my gopher-populated garden at home, I have been building bulb beds which are set on landscape fabric (to try and keep out the Bermuda grass which can grow anywhere) and lined with aviary wire. This is the time of year when these beds make my heart soar, because one after another these incredible flowers tell me more than anything that Spring is here. Daffodils aren’t supposed to be appetizing to gophers, so in January I bought a couple of bags of the common King Alfred variety (45 in a sack for about $7!) at Home Depot, and planted them all over. I got them in the ground a little late, so I may have to wait until next year for blooms. I love the explosion of daffodils all over Santa Ysabel and Julian.
Rosa rugosa, our native rose I have far too many roses planted; but I have to confess, one of the real perks of the permaculture work that is being done on the rest of the property is that I get to have more roses! 🙂 My side yard has the destinguished personages of Agatha Christie, William Shakespeare, along with Double Delight, Blue Girl,
Blue Girl
Mirandy, and some big red rose that was here when I moved in. Two Damask roses (which they use to make Attar of Roses) that my nephew gave to me are in the front, along with Rosa rugosa (our native) and some unidentified ones. The driveway is filled with artistocratic names along with Joseph’s Coat, and beginning to work its way up the post that stands outside the bedrooms is Kiss of Desire. (Sigh). In the back are many more which were here when I moved or came to me free and unlabeled, including two spectacular red roses which are side-by-side, are now enormous and lush, and whose bloom colors clash so loudly you could hear it inside!
Although they aren’t native, many of these heirlooms need to be saved from extinction, are often much hardier than any modern hybrids, and are gorgeous and unique. They have to be hardy, because my plants need to thrive on some neglect. I also fertilize them with Roses Alive natural fertilizer from Gardens Alive http://www.gardensalive.com/ . Organic fertilizer doesn’t build up salts in the soil or destroy the soil microbes that are essential for good plant health.
Unidentified David Austin rose About the recommendations: I don’t work for any of these businesses. I recommend them as a friend, for I have found them to be excellent in my dealings with them and they support good causes. I hope that you enjoy their breathtaking catalogs! (I actually have to go through the catalogs a little at a time because I get too excited and my heart rate goes up and I want all they have!).
Ice Follies daffodil So this was a long post, when actually this beautiful bird-song-filled morning I just wanted to bring you photos of Spring flowers, to brighten your day. Also, I’ve been trying to learn this user-friendly (ha!) blog thing, and I think I’ve made it possible to leave comments without you having to go through so many hoops (to prevent spamming.) I’d love to hear what you say! Have a great day.
Cineraria Wisteria chinensis -
Spring Is Here
Spring is here Today I really felt that Southern California had shrugged off Winter. It was warm and a little humid out, my Satsuma plum is in full bloom, and my desert tortoise (endangered species; I’m his third owner and he’s licensed) Homer came out of hibernation in the closet. He’s still sleepy and grumpy, and I can relate to that.
I also saw the first Red Diamondback Rattlesnake today, newly emerged from hibernation, sunning itself in the cleft of a boulder about head height. My hiking buddy Alex and I were at Santa Margarita River Preserve, and there was this somnamulant reptile soaking in the sun and enjoying the radiating warmth of the rock. We posed right next to him or her, and he or she didn’t care. This would not be the case on a hot summer’s day!
This intermediate dry spell is important for the construction of the permaculture garden because the soil is still too wet to allow trucks down on the property. We are investigating the best way to create the ponds, which at this time will incorporate a dry rock creekbed that will catch and channel rainwater and allow it to perculate into the soil, another pond for water holding, and a possible natural swimming pond. The swimming pond works on the same concept as a natural greywater system. Beside the swimming area is another deep area filled with different grades of rock. Water plants which clean water with their roots are planted on top in a naturalistic way. Water is pumped into this area from the bottom, and as the water rises through the gravel and plant roots it becomes clear, then is transported into the swimming area. No chemicals needed; in fact, chemicals would ruin the biological balance of the pond. The swimming pond is clean and ready for human use, and also provides riparian habitat, food and acts as a watering hole for many animals. They are popular in Europe and other countries, and are slowly catching on here in America. Of course, people throughout time have swum in gunky swimming ponds; this is just making one for oneself. This is a YouTube link to a UK pond builder. He is hawking a video on his project, which is only available in the UK and thus wouldn’t play on US DVD players, but this short video tells a lot about swimming ponds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JoQthEBl6U . Clicking on this link will navigate you away from this page. I just love his Liverpudlian accent.
Today I became the owner of clumping giant bamboo, and a Buddha’s Hand citron. So very cool! The bamboo can be used for all kinds of structures, and with the citron I can make my own candied fruit for desserts. Did you know that candied fruit is called succade? Nope, neither did I.
Creepy, but fun and very fragrant. The fruits are mostly peel, and are used to scent rooms and clothes in Asia. Also planted were various stonefruits, including 4-in-1 apples, apricot, cherry, pear, peaches, nectarines and Asian pear. I also became the proud owner of two little kumquat trees. They are loaded with fruit, and since they were purchased from an organic nursery, this crop doesn’t have to go to waste (you eat kumquats whole).
So, after a morning of Zumba at the Fallbrook Community Center, planting and feeding my many animals, then four hours of intense hiking, my legs are trying to get me to walk upstairs to bed and stay there. Sounds like a good idea to me.
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The Monster in the Pond
Ok, ok, I’ll succumb to popular demand and tell my pond story. A number of years ago I came into possession of free pond liner and flagstone. My daughter and I hacked down a juniper that had taken over our front yard, pickaxed out all the roots and rocks, and after watching many YouTube how-to videos, built our Perfect Pond. I indulged in waterlilies, a priceylotus, and some other cute little water plants. We set free a few mosquito fish, and enjoyed our organic water feature. Well, it was better than we ever thought. It attracted birds, dragonflies, and Pacific Chorus Frogs. In fact, in early February, every frog in the county makes its way over to our little 400 gallon pond and begins their mating calls. They are so loud that we’ve had to shine a flashlight out the window at night to quiet them down to hear a movie! Soon we had evidence of amphibian genetic success.
Frog spawn! Then tadpoles, and tiny frogs that mostly disappeared somewhere until the following February. The mosquito fish found similar romantic success and soon numbered in the hundreds.
Other than giving the non-human youth a Lover’s Lane, as it were, the pond had its ups and downs; the raccoons just loved getting in and knocking over the expensive lotus plant, so it never flourished. Some very creepy flat-headed black wormy things appeared in the filter, the dragonfly larvae looked like the stars of B-movies in miniature, and some of the plants tried to take over the world. After a few years, I decided that there was too much plant growth and it needed to be thinned out. With rubber gloves on hands and an explorer’s enthusiasm, I went in. (Oh, and by the way, NEVER put pea gravel in your pond, no matter how many people say to on the Internet or in books. It’s too sharp to stand on, it can wreck your liner with its pointy edges, and it makes a dead biomass on the bottom of your pond. Thanks, I had to say it. I hate pea gravel. That’s my rant for the night.)
So I was doing all right, standing in my knee boots, groping around under the murky water pulling and untangling long root and stem systems of these too-happy plants, when suddenly…. I felt something. Something that wasn’t right. Something that was too large to belong in our little pond with its one gallon happy plants in it. Something that felt long and nobby like a huge slimy neckbone. A monsterous, nobby, slimy neckbone.
Now, I’m not a squemish person, nor one to back down at a challenge, but this THING was so not right that I was dropping it and getting my boots out of that pond pronto. After watching to see if it had followed, and satisfied that it hadn’t taken offence, I decided on perhaps an abridged version of the ten-foot-pole ploy, and used a rake to gently heave it out of the water. It was all tangled up in my wonderful waterlily leaves, so I tried to untangle as gently as I could, crooning soothingly to it as I worked. Then, to my horror, I discovered that …. the monster neck WAS my sweet little waterlily! How could that have happened? In only three years!
The one gallon black plastic pot had apparently fallen over (thank you, racoonies), and this plant wasn’t going to wimp out like the lotus. Ohhhh no. It grew out of the pot and made a U-turn heading back towards the light. The neck was about 3 inches in diameter, about the size of a human’s, I’m guessing, but more alien. Observing the true underwater nature of my waterlily made me feel like Rosemary of Rosemary’s Baby fame: my little darling was a slimy hideous monster. So, I did the only rational thing I could think of. I shoved the whole darn thing back into the pond, prodded it with the rake (the plant grabbed the tines, I know it did!) until I couldn’t see it anymore (the arch of the neck kept protruding from the water surface! I had to almost beat it underwater). Then I went in the house and had a hot bath to get the slime and smell off of me, and try to recooperate. You bet I locked the doors.
In conclusion, the invasive pond plants were ripped out, I exchanged some water to help keep the biomass alive, and I learned something about myself. I’m not afraid of black widow spiders, snakes, heights, caves, or blood. I am, however, afraid of two things. One has been a long-standing fear of high-school-aged students, dating back to before I even was one, and I don’t think anyone will challenge me on that one. The other thing I’m afraid of is that waterlily in my pond. Its been several years now since this incident, and under the water its been growing… growing…. I haven’t waded back in there since.